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1) A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day. 'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.' A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'


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I am over 18 Rags To Riches Success Story A real touching success story! Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoe shine. He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine. One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do.


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Holiday Jokes. Halloween Kid Jokes - Perfect for lunch boxes, print these for free! Christmas jokes - Another set of hilarious jokes to print. Elf Jokes - Printable cards are perfect if you have an elf on the shelf - they are funny even if you don't) St Patrick's Day Jokes. Easter Jokes.


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The bartender roars, "Get out of here!" As they're walking out the door, the dog turns to his owner and asks, "DiMaggio?" The Math Exam: A young college student was having trouble with his final math exam. He knew his professor was a golf lover, so he came up with a scheme.


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I wanted to take a bath, but then decided to leave it where it is. I'd tell you a pizza joke, but it's probably too cheesy. I try not to tell dad jokes, but when I do, he thinks they're.


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100 Funny Jokes for Kids That You'll Laugh at Too. 95 Best Christmas Puns for All the Holiday Giggles. 30 Pumpkin Jokes That'll Carve Out a Smile. 31 Fun Riddles for Kids (with Answers!) The Best Thanksgiving Puns and One-Liners. 95 Best Fall Puns for All Your Autumn Jokes.


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Steps for Mommy One of my wife's third graders was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, "Are you tracking your steps?" "No," said the little girl. "I wear this. Read More Pleats.


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20 Years to life. Oops… Wrong number. Going to bed angry is never good policy… Never underestimate a mother's intuition. Make Your Own Funny Memes Here! TFB Trending Posts The law of unintended consequences. When your laziness gets noticed, your work gets appreciated! Don't you hate it when people judge a book by it's cover?


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The 100 Funniest Jokes from the Last 100 Years Linda Roman Updated: Jan. 02, 2024 A century's worth of laughs from the pages of Reader's Digest. rd.com Our favorite jokes of all time Humor.


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Funny & Humor. Sometimes you just need a good laugh…and if that time is now, you've come to the right place! From funny stories to jokes to puns to riddles and everything in between, we can.


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1. I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one. 2. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places. 3. What vegetable is cool, but not.


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Psychic Daughter Bill is putting his young daughter to bed one night and as he walks out the bedroom door he hears her saying her prayers. She says, "God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma, rest in peace grandpa ." Bill rushes back into her bedroom and asks her, "Why did you say the last part?" His daughter replies, "Because I needed to."


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From the best clean jokes for adults to clean jokes of the day, this big list has something for everyone, so you can feel good about busting out these hilarious SFW funnies, no matter who it is.


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1. Now that's what I call stupid: In my junior year of high school, this guy asked me on a date. He rented a Redbox movie and made a pizza. We were watching the movie and the oven beeped so the pizza was done. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "This is the worst part."


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Steps for Mommy One of my wife's third graders was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, "Are you tracking your steps?" "No," said the little girl. "I wear this. Read More Pleats.


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6880+ Funny Short Stories to read Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you're looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories. 🏆 Winning stories " Clearance Aisle Libations " by Bay Colt